How to get over fury, hate, loss after loving satan?

met "the one", preached honesty/ntegrety, church goer, I told him to not play w/my heart/head as I was getting over my daughter's demise, he said he'd support/help me.he treated me with love/care said he'd never disappoint me as I was going through lack of worth, I spent 20k on trips he always said he was broke, this former crack addict is a god in his NA circle. He verbally abused me telling me I wasn't good enough for him after we married. After discussing growing old together he told me next day it to get out. I refuse to spend a cent on this creature, he said he'd take care of divorced but hasn't yet. he's a narciss/sociopath. I took all my gifts and a book w/pages of friends/family/GF's he has lied/stolen/used/abused. The hate i harbor is unbearable w/no feeling/explanation/closure aware that I was recuperating over daughters demise and guilt. He owes me money, my heart, and unbearable grief and a hate I've never felt before. why has he not filed for divorce, never want to see him